I opened my Facebook Group V’s Visionaries early. And if you follow me on Instagram, you’ll have seen in my stories that this wasn’t exactly the trajectory I’d intended for this group, but what is a vision without hope?
I was sitting at the dinner table a couple of nights ago when my chest started to hurt. Naturally I immediately thought, shit. Not now, not during this pandemic, my family needs me, blah blah blah. My brain went to every catastrophic thought possible. I was so hung up in my mind, I walked through the rest of the evening on autopilot, hiding the panic going on in my mind. It took a couple of hours to realize what was actually happening.
Panic Attack.
Shit again, you’d think that realization would have calmed my ass down. Unfortunately, it had the opposite effect. Here I am, I just finished my Life Coaching Course this week and I’m in a tailspin of my own design. I have not had a panic attack in over a year and a half. I’ve been off my anxiety medication for over seven months and I thought – crap, I’m failing, and I haven’t even started! How can I help other people is I’m sitting at my dinner table in a full-on panic attack thinking I’m having a full-on heart attack? As I was thinking that, my eyesight went all freaking wonky. The colors around me went surreal and overly saturated. Here I am, at the end of what was supposed to be a beginning. I was so excited I finished my course I was shouting it from the roof tops and now I wanted to hide in my bedroom and not come out.
But you don’t get that luxury when you have children, so I did the usual Mommy things and got the kids ready for bed all the while feeling like I was walking around a Tim Burton film. I took them up stairs and proceeded to engage in our usual nightly routine – rocking and singing Twinkle, Twinkle, ABC’s, Rock-A-Bye Baby and then finishing it off with Row, Row, Row Your boat and then toss my daughter into bed as I sing the line “Gently Down the Stream”. And then repeat the whole process with my son.
But my daughter just discovered that I am very ticklish under my arms, and she just attacked me as I was trying to sing and that was it, my panic attack ended in a fit of laughter.
That’s when I realized, If I’m struggling right now, I know you are too. And I need to get in front of this, we need to get in front of this. But what can I do right now? I’m not a comedian, if I were to try to get you to laugh, it would inevitably be AT me rather than with me or at a joke. What could I do to help others?
I took the night and I thought back to when I was losing myself to my anxiety, to the time I’d finally decided enough was enough, I wanted my life back. I needed to get more proactive then just taking a pill every day. I began researching more natural ways to calm my brain. Meditation was hard at first, I had trouble sitting still. That’s when I was led (I now believe it was by divine forces) to EFT Tapping, Emotional Freedom Technique. It’s amazing and it’s simple. It was the breakthrough I needed. So, the very next morning I signed up for EFT & TFT Tapping Course, I was looking to do a few shorter duration classes before I jump into my Hypnotherapy Course, and once again, as I truly believe by divine guidance, in one of the first modules the instructor walks us through a beautiful meditation/breathwork session and even before it was complete I was jumping out of my seat exclaiming to absolutely no one that I need to share this!
And voila! Without stopping myself to overthink it, I opened V’s Visionaries and sent out the first few invites because all month long I will be hosting periodic live meditation sessions. The first one is tomorrow morning – Friday April 3 at 8am EST. You can join here.
I plan to do different types of sessions, meditation, tapping and breathwork and anything else that comes to me.
I am wildly nervous about it, but I think we all need this right now. And if you can’t make tomorrow’s and all subsequent sessions live, no worries, they will be posted in the group where they will live forever – or until something comes along to replace Facebook.
We need each other now more than ever before. – Six Feet Apart of course.
Stay healthy, stay strong and stay positive. This too shall pass. (I could knock you on your ass with platitudes, lol)
BUNDLES OF LOVE TO YOU!!
Did I mention it’s Free?